This is my story…
I have had a lot on my plate lately, as well as, a lot on my mind. With my career being put on hold and a little bundle of joy on the way I have been finding myself with more questions than answers. And one of those big questions that I cannot seem to shake is, “How can I be more connected to God?”
Having grown up only partially involved in a church I have always felt like I’m behind in the game of Christianity. I knew the basics from the occasional Sunday school class or summer Vacation Bible School, but I just never felt like any of it was clicking.
Eventually, I made the decision to attend a private, four-year Lutheran college. And, if I felt like I was behind in the Christian world before, starting school here was a major wake up call. I knew nothing about the Bible compared to most of the other students in my Religion classes. They knew verses by heart, they remembered what book in the Bible certain stories were from and they had all the prayers and orders of services memorized. I was so not there.
And, instead of that driving me to find ways to learn more about my faith and religion, it drove me further away.
All of my life I had a strong belief in God and felt comfort through the conversational prayers I would have, but suddenly I felt like I wasn’t part of ‘the club’ – if I didn’t know the history and facts about this friend of mine then I didn’t have a right to come to Him when I needed Him or even just wanted to chat.
Finally, I found a church where my pastor and other church members made me feel like part of that club again and going to church was a joy and blessing rather than a place which made me feel alienated or bad about myself for not having read the Bible from cover to cover once a year.
I still go to this church and I still find great lessons from each and every sermon I hear on Sundays, but lately I’ve been getting that nagging feeling again.
The search for more
It took me awhile to put my finger on what the nagging feeling was. I felt close to God and I was learning, slowly, about His story. But, something was bothering me. I wanted to give more back.
“I wanted to give more back…”
I had been getting more out of church services than I ever have in my life, and when I realized that I wished I could make more time in my life to do more. I wanted to get involved. Get involved in my church, yes. But, more importantly I wanted to get more involved in my FAITH! I just wasn’t sure how.
I took to Google.
“How can I grow in my faith?”
“How can I become a better Christian?”
“Top ways to become closer to God”
I felt frustrated when each search returned lacking the answers I needed and wanted. I even ventured on to pages two, three and even four of my Google search results hoping someone else on the Internet was able to counsel me through my dilemma.
Finding the way to find the answer
Finally I realized the answer I’m looking for was not going to be found on the world-wide web. Not for me. To find the answer to my dilemma, I was going to have to turn the computer off, step away from the smart phone and find some answers the good ol’ fashion way – prayer.
So, needless to say, lately I have spent some time in conversation with God.
After, spending some time asking SO many questions and eventually realizing I needed to spend less time asking and more time listening. I have sent myself on a mission – making my time with God a priority.
So, here are five goals I have set for myself:
- Devote time each morning to my devotional and spend at least 15 minutes journaling about the passage.
- Devote time each night to reading my Bible.
- Make church on Sundays more of a priority.
- Try to integrate time to talk about these things as a family.
- Pray daily about each of these goals.