I gave birth in January 2016 and if there is one thing I have learned since then, is that, I will never stop learning. Milestones come and go so quickly that by the time I have found a way to handle one phase, it is over and a new phase has already started.
And while the little ones are typically the ones going through said phases, us mommies have some to deal with as well. Well, I have been anyways.
In general I have always been fairly comfortable in my own skin. I wore jeans and t-shirts and was okay with that. But, now more than ever, I have been teetering between confidence and a lack thereof. There are days when I wake up and feel great, other days I wake up and just can’t seem to get comfortable in my own skin. UGH. Part of this probably has to do with that fact that a woman gains 30 pounds over the course of 9 months and then drops 20 of those before leaving the hospital. There is just no time to process all the change.
Blogging has giving me a way to sort out some of the change, talking to others who feel the same.
And though these discussions, it has helped me realize that our minds cannot be set on whether we are fat or skinny or tall or short and here’s how this needs to happen:
- We need to change the way we look at ourselves
- We need to stop competing with other girls
- We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other.
- We, whether we are moms or not, need to be pleased as punch about our paunch!
Along the same lines as self-image is personal style. Transitioning from a dress code back to having freedom of expression through fashion has been tricky. When I look through my closet, I just want to rebel – because I can now. But, what do I wear to do that? Who am I trying to impress, a 6-month old? Yeah…right.
But, even though it kind of sucks to feel like you don’t have any individuality, the road to rediscovering personal style can be fun. And here’s how:
- Play with accessories…I found a couple of great places that I love to shop for accessories now. Boho Betty has a lot of variety that can dress up an outfit or pairs well with your casual clothes too. Or better yet, go with a bracelet from Mieroglyphs, each one has an inscription inside perfect for daily inspiration.
- Show your style in other ways....sometimes if you can’t figure out your fashion style, sometimes it makes you feel better to express yourself in other ways, right? Well, it helps me so there. Some ways can to add some new decor to your home or improving something you use everyday, like a yoga mat.
- Just do you…. Most importantly, you need to just do your thang. If you like stripes, wear ’em. You think shirts with cartoon characters are great, they are…go for it. Whatever it is, it’s gonna work, because you like it. Now if you don’t know what you like anymore, that’s a whole different issue.
Here’s a big one…avoiding those ruts. It’s easy to think about the little one first, or to get so busy taking care of everyone and everything else that you just burn out. Well, one thing I have to keep reminding myself of is that you have to take time for yourself otherwise there will be nothing left to give. But how?
- Get your mind in the right place….There are plenty of ways to shed a positive light on things and that’s a good place to start.
- Make YOU time….despite the fact that you have a million and one things to do as a mom, wife, working woman, whatever it is that you may be, you just HAVE to schedule a little time for yourself. Some mommas I’ve talked to even have a special day every week or even month where they get out of the house and go shopping or have a spa day. Not a bad idea.
- Make a point to do fun things with your family. It’s easy, especially with a little one around, to stay cooped up in the house all day everyday. Well, don’t do that anymore. Seriously, make a list of fun things to do and when you’re bored or out of ideas, check the list. We made a summer bucket list this summer and managed to finished 9 out of 10 things!
- Be prepared….I know this sounds predictable and predictability can be boring. But, when you have a kiddo being prepared means less time wasted getting out the door. A lot of times, you only have a small window of time when a little one is happy, well-rested and fed to get out the door. If you miss that time slot, you can kiss that trip to the mall goodbye. Am I right? So, have the diaper bag ready to go and plan ahead!